A tireless debate

(Yes, I'm delaying the continuation of the previous post. Bear with my chaos.)

My lease is up in a few months, my landlady is a nutjob with a criminal record who despises me, and I'm not too keen on craigslisting again. My job search is (hopefully) coming to its end shortly, and I'm pretty sure I enjoy living here, so I've begun looking at (gulp) buying some real estate. Although more than a few kids in my position are ashamed of accepting help from mom and dad, I'm actually ok with it, especially when you consider that a) only top-tier investment bankers my age can afford something on their own in this city; b) our parents were buying their first places around this time (my dad bought in La Jolla, CA at age 22, well before that was a rich-kid hotspot); and c) parents are supposed to help their kids - you're damn right I'm helping mine when I get the chance. Instead of paying rent to an old lady I hate, I'll be doling out mortgage payments for a place where I won't have to answer to someone (unless I buy into a co-op, but that's another story). So rent vs. own isn't the real debate. What I'm truly unsure about is Manhattan vs. Brooklyn.

Each borough is great in its own right, but I can't quite sort out which I'd prefer to actually live in. This is somewhat unjust, especially given the differences between neighborhoods within these boroughs, but for the purposes of this exercise, I'm going to be a little trite and reductive.

Manhattan - Yeas.

It's fucking Manhattan.

Subways are everywhere (except for you suckers in Alphabet City). This is, interestingly, one of the reasons I truly love New York.

Despite being enormous and densely populated, it's usually quite safe. Only racist idiots are afraid of Harlem or Washington Heights anymore.

Hot women everywhere. This cannot be understated.

Alcohol, food, services, everywhere.

Museums. Seriously.

People are more likely to visit you. The presence of Penn Station, Grand Central, and Port Authority is huge.

Bars are rarely populated by meatheads or people with more hair product than education.

It's stupid, but living here makes you feel at least somewhat worthy.

You can revel in your anonymity, and it's great.

The good nabes: Upper West, Upper East (mostly, despite the ubiquitous snobbery), parts of Harlem and Morningside, lower Chelsea, the Village, Tribeca, Soho, Nolita, Lower East, Gramercy (though dangerously close to some unsavory people - see below).

Manhattan - Nays.

It's fucking Manhattan.

You're paying minimum $400k for a studio in need of a gut-reno, probably more for something relatively nice.

The surplus of high-rise/full-service/elevator buildings. I hate them all. What is wrong with you people?

Noise and mayhem, much? Well, only in some parts, but you'll never truly escape all forms of honking and construction.

The abundance of overly arrogant finance-types, fake and talentless models/actors/musicians.

The bad nabes: all of Midtown, Murray Hill (full of snotty, post-frat fun!), Chinatown (nothing against it, but for living purposes, no thank you), Financial District/Battery Park (nothing there).

Brooklyn - Yeas.

It's New York, but it's not Manhattan.

Cheaper and still gentrifying, so you can get in there while it's hot and develop a false/misplaced sense of pride.

Transportation's good in several neighborhoods.

People are generally cooler and more relaxed, probably due to the lack of finance-types, though the fake actor/musician quotient is unusually high here as well.

The lack of high-rise condo behemoths, although DUMBO and western parts of Williamsburg are slowly destroying this happy state of affairs.

The good nabes: Cobble Hill, Brooklyn Heights (home of the world's greatest cheap sushi, as far as I know), Boerum Hill (except for a seedy portion around Wyckoff between Nevins and Bond), Park Slope, Fort Greene (has arguably some of the prettiest blocks in the whole city), Williamsburg (still kind of ugly though), Carroll Gardens.

The up-and-coming nabes that I'm too much of pansy to truly consider buying in: Clinton Hill (still too close to Bed-Stuy; also, I just learned that Myrtle Ave used to be, ahem, affectionately nicknamed "Murder Ave" - awesome), Red Hook (destroy the BQE and this will happen much faster), Prospect Heights, Greenpoint.

Brooklyn - Nays.

By New York standards, it's "far." Let's face it, you're going to want to be close to Manhattan, and the closest neighborhoods pretty much command Manhattan prices.

The L train. God, if Williamsburg had more subway options, it would probably jump on my list, but riding this thing pretty much guarantees at least eight different people will feel your genitals and/or dry-hump you, and you'll do the same to them on your way home. And yes, that's a bad thing.

Fewer amenities. This will probably be less and less true, but for now, there just aren't too many food options at 1am in Fort Greene compared to the awesomeness that is my current 'hood.

Smelly hipsters (everyone loves to hate of them, but honestly, they're kind of mythical at this point, aren't they?).

Some Brooklynites will disdain you for moving there after they did (thereby making you less "hip"), like the girl on Amity Street last weekend who opened the door for me with the most sardonic "Another open house?" I've ever heard.

The bad nabes: Bedford-Stuyvesant, Bushwick, East Red Hook, Downtown (the Fulton Mall is interesting but miserable), that seedy area by the Navy Yard and Vinegar Hill. I wouldn't consider anything further out.

So yeah, anyone out there want to help me sort through all this?